I've felt an emotional meltdown is right on my heels, and a little leaked out last Sunday. Tate and I had just gotten back from St. George, while Chase stayed back to head into Vegas for work that week. Tatum was so excited to be HOME. It was something he was so familiar with. He ran upstairs and into his room and was grinning from ear-to-ear. He was HOME. Well, between Chase being gone for the upcoming week, me being sleep-deprived from the trip, and all of the emotions of selling the house finally gave in. I cried many times, sometimes triggered by the simliest things: Tate knowing exactly where things are... the meer familiarity and memories of our home. That is when it hit me. In the rocking chair. Rocking Tatum to sleep that night.
That corner of his room has become a spiritual space. It was in that corner in the rocking chair that I nursed Tate as an infant. It was where I taught Tatum songs. It was where we would talk about our day, read each other stories, sing, and laugh together. It was where I experienced the overwhelming nudge to quit work and stay at home full time. We've experienced a lot in that sacred corner.
And now we will no longer have that corner in the room. Sure we can make a new corner in a new room, but our first corner will just be a memory.
Maybe I'm too sentimental. Maybe I don't handle big changes very well. Whatever it is, it has been hard slowly detaching myself from the house.
I know it it just a house.. one of many we'll have in our lifetime I'm sure. But this house was our first. We experienced all of the "firsts" in this house. And now it is time to say goodbye.
I pray for strength these next few weeks as we slowly say our goodbyes...
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